MAE WEST QUOTES:
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
A hard man is good to find.
I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.
I’ve been things and seen places.
Don’t ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.
How do you do, Miss West? How do you do what?
When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
I’d like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.
I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.
A man’s kiss is his signature.
A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.
Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.
Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.
Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ‘no’ men?
It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.
I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.
I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.
I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.
I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.
If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.
It takes two to get one in trouble.
It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.
It’s not what I do, but the way I do it. It’s not what I say, but the way I say it.
Look your best – who said love is blind?
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct – it’s an art.
Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
Personality is the most important thing to an actress’s success.
Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they’re doing and saying in films right now just shouldn’t be allowed. There’s no dignity anymore and I think that’s very important.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.
Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
The score never interested me, only the game.
Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
To err is human, but it feels divine.
Too much of a good thing can be taxing.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
Goodness, what lovely diamonds. Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.
No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.
I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about you lately. You must be awful tired.
I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
I can always tell a lady when I see one. Yeah? What do you tell ’em?
Too many girls follow the line of least resistance–but a good line is hard to resist.
Some men are all right in their place–if they only knew the right places!
I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going while you’ve still got them.
Men are all alike–except the one you’ve met who’s different.
Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I’d have to give it up.
It’s not the men in my life that counts– it’s the life in my men.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.
Women with “pasts” interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.
There are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.
The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it.
Let men see what’s coming to them, and women will get what’s coming to them.
The curve is more powerful than the sword.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Some women pick men to marry–and others pick them to pieces.
Good women are no fun… The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.
You can do what you want, but saving love doesn’t bring any interest.
Love is the only industry which can’t operate on a five-day week.
Women want certain things in marriage–the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.
Men are easy to get but hard to keep.
It’s easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.
Kiss and make up–but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.
A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.
Life’s just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.
You may admire a girl’s curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.
I take it out in the open and laugh at it.
Brains are an asset to the woman in love who’s smart enough to hide ’em.
Look your best–who said love is blind?
Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.
If you put your foot in it, be sure it’s your best foot.
It’s all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he’s perfect.
The best way to behave is to misbehave.
He who hesitates is last.
I’m single because I was born that way.
Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it.
A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty–he has suffered longer.
Don’t come crawlin’ to a man for love–he likes to get a run for his money.
Don’t cry for a man who’s left you–the next one may fall for your smile.
I’d give half my life for just one kiss. Then kiss me twice.
Oh, Miss West, I’ve heard so much about you. Yeah, honey, but you can’t prove a thing.
Never ask a man where’s he’s been. If he’s out on legitimate business, he doesn’t need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it’s your own fault.
Jorge's Ponderings 
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